It's alive...

Like Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, my poor little pc has been pieced together from different bits and pieces and miraculously brought back to life (thanks techo Dad). I tell you this for 2 reasons :
1) to explain my absence since my dramatic entrance into the blogging realms and
2) to share with you my shocking revelation that I’m a computer or ‘pooter’ as my 2yr old calls it, addict.

You see, the universes’ mysterious yet caustically humorous irony is not lost on this little dragon. No sooner than I start blogging and purging my vast array of thoughts into a word holding pen than my poor pc up and shits itself. Nothing fancy like a virus or corrupted files where I can’t do something here or there, no it’s a straight to the heart of the matter power failure – it would not even start. Now the irony lies in, no sooner do I start moving into the perception that I “NEED” my pc everyday rather than it being a resource in my home, than it’s taken away from me cold turkey. And bugger me if I didn’t drop straight into a deep ugly pointy withdrawal hell hole.

I grew up with my mother telling me I had to ‘be careful’ as I had my birth father's addictive personality trait, so I needless to say, I skated dangerously thin through all those experimental phases of youth - boys, drugs and drink but never, I mean NEVER did I think I would have to ‘be careful’ when it came to a computer. It's not like I do anything exciting like play online games, bet on the GG's or watch porn (honestly while very enjoyable, doodles are not in the slightest bit pretty, I do not wish to see them bouncing around my screen). I mean aside from checking emails, listening to itunes, internet banking, googling recipes, updating facebook, grocery shopping, instant messaging friends and this blog, that’s my sum total of pc usage. Ok now I’ve written that, it’s not as minimal as I originally thought… but none the less, I by no means did not expect my reaction, nor my 2yr old’s and husband’s reaction to be what it was.

I – I felt lost, disconnected from the world and very frustrated not having instant 24/7 access / response / control of my world. I hated that my knee jerk action to resolve most situations was to use the computer.

My 2yr old - kept asking for the ‘pooter’ to watch the video of herself riding horse (repeatedly on loop) and would ask to find her a new pooter when it was explained that ours was broken. Now someone her age shouldn’t be concerned with such technology, it should be playing and causing mischief. Had I instilled my bad habit in her already?

My husband – well, he was glad. Yep, he told me how nice it was to not have to look at the back of my head. And wow, didn’t that just cut to the core of me….

So what now? Well I’m making a pact to this dragonwithin,

• the pc will not be turned on during the day unless all everyone is asleep to ensure my kids have my full focus
• if I need the pc for anything during the day, I will turn it on, do what I have to and turn it back off
• I will use my (new) ipod and speakers to listen to all my music rather than itunes
• I will fart arse around on the pc in my own time ie 10pm till dawn LOL
  

And while this little dragon doesn’t like limits, rules or boundaries (I have a nasty habit of breaking the aforementioned just for shits and giggles), an exercise in self discipline will not go astray!